1. |
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i know a place we can make out
got a lava lamp and couch
collectible swords on every wall
hoop for a tiny basketball
come over to my placeeee
i want to kiss all over your face
baby you can give me a shout
i know a bitchin place to make out
there’s a bead curtain over the door
collection of shells from gulf shores
real cool quilt my grandma made me
copy of my bachelors degree
come over to my placeeee
i want to kiss all over your face
baby you can give me a shout
i know a bitchin place to make outtttt
i’ve got waterworld on dvd
i’ve got slingblade on dvd
i’ve got gladiator on dvd
do you want to hang with me
come over to my placeeee
i want to kiss all over your face
baby you can give me a shout
i know a bitchin place to make outtttt
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2. |
Budget Drunk
03:10
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friday is here but we didn't get paid
we're all too poor to go out, i'm afraid
when i'm about to burst into tears
i remember my purse holds 6 beers
call up my friends, we're ready to go out
don't even need money, we'll still blackout
got a flask of whiskey hidden in my sock
and half a bag of wine behind that rock
i'm a budget drunk
i'm a budget drunk
i'm a budget drunk
i'm a budget drunk
no one's at that table over there
there's at least two half full beers
wouldn't want them to go to waste
don't really care how old they taste
it's four dollars for a hamm's at this bar
come outside we are drinking in the car
keep the radio low, don't attract suspicion
is it illegal if no keys in ignition
i'm a budget drunk
i'm a budget drunk
i'm a budget drunk
i'm a budget drunk
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3. |
Dean Ambrose
02:45
|
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oh dean, where do i begin?
i fell in love with the lunatic fringe
your tight jeans, unhinged attitude
got a badass finishing move
then i heard an interview
your dull response changed how i see you
you bore me, please don't ever speak
you bore me, please don't ever speak
why are you friends with roman reigns?
you should have turned heel like seth rollins
oh dear god, there's that rope spin
wish i'd never have to see it again
and every time i hear you speak
you sound so lame and very weak
you bore me, please don't ever speak
you bore me, please don't ever speak
dean, when i first saw you, i thought you were something else
but when i heard you talk, i realized you were just like the rest of em
dull, boring, and just an ok wrestler
but i'm not sad, no i'm not sad no more
cuz i got a new man, a man that's so big, so strong
that man is a real man; that man joey ryan
joey, you may be crass
but i'd still like to ride your mustache
here i am, mouth open wide
will you stick your blow pop inside?
your finisher erectile face plant
turns us on; it makes us makes us chant
you're so big, you're so strong
you're so big, you're so strong
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4. |
(I Get My) Protein
03:02
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|
don't invite me to your barbeque
i will disappoint yew
offer me a steak
i'll say no thank yew
aunts at christmas and grocery store clerks
people at my work
ask aren't yew tired all the time?
missing necessary enzymes?
well fuck yew because
i get my protein
i get my protein
i get my protein (from black beans)
i get my protein (from collard greens)
i can run at least six miles
lift two thirties of old style
my abdominals are a marvel
i've got biceps like arnold
won't eat bacon so don't suggest it
chicken nuggets, out of the question
doesn't make me sad
won't make me cry
to know my entrees are your sides
well fuck yew because
i get my protein
i get my protein
i get my protein (from chickpeas)
i get my protein (from hemp seed)
get your bacon out of my green beans
don't use beef stock in my soup
get your fucking sausage out of my bloody mary
but how do yew get yer protein?
how do yew get yer protein
how do yew get yer protein
well fuck yew because
i get my protein
fuck yew cuz i get my protein
fuck yew my protein
yeah i get my goddamn protein
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5. |
Weekend Warrior
02:38
|
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|
friday morning, wake at dawn
this work day seems so long
but i know that when it ends
i gather up my army of friends
we all work from 9-5
menial tasks til the weekend arrives
don't really want to be a secretary
but i need a paycheck baby
i'm a weekend warrior
i do what i want friday saturday sunday
but not too late on sunday
cuz i gotta work early monday
on the weekend i can loosen my tie
but tighten it back when monday arrives
outstanding employee 5 days a week
but when it's time to leave turn into a freak
wish i could always hang with my band
never have to work again
fuck around, be myself
but this office won't run itself
i'm a weekend warrior
i do what i want friday saturday sunday
but not too late on sunday
cuz i gotta work monday
found out we got a gig
at a place we really dig
what time do we play?
oh shit, 11 on a tuesday?
oooo wake up earrrlllly
god i feel so lame
why can't i just rock and roll
every single day?
i'm just a weekend warrior
i do what i want friday saturday sunday
but not to late on sunday
cuz i gotta work monday
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6. |
Divvy
02:24
|
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|
city of chicago has something in store
for those who have never ridden a bike before
big fat tires make me move slow
not that i have anyplace to go
ride ride ride my divvy bike
ride ride ride my divvy bike
ride ride ride my divvy bike
ride ride ride my divvy bike
i'll take my divvy to six flags today
even it's far away
gonna follow my trusty app
by the name of google maps
on ramp! death trap!
ride ride ride my divvy bike
ride ride ride my divvy bike
ride ride ride my divvy bike
ride ride ride my divvy bike
riding my divvy bike on 90/94
pedaling fast, looking hardcore
sun is shining, feelin carefree
even though cars have to swerve around me
i'll give them the divvy wave!
bridge (doin the divvy wave)
ride ride ride my divvy bike
ride ride ride my divvy bike
ride ride ride my divvy bike
until i crash crash crash my divvy bike
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7. |
New Shirt
02:03
|
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|
all of my other shirts
have big tears and rips
most look like they've
been through the apocalypse
i have one nice shirt
let me wear it for yew
one nice shirt
my only one that's new
i like you so much
and want you to see
how great this new shirt
looks when it's on me
myyy neeeewww shiiiirrrrtttt
when you first met me
i had raggedy clothes
most of them still are
but you don't need to know
i'll wear my new shirt
round you, so you can see
that i clean up real nice
and how classy i can be
i have one nice shirt
let me wear it for yew
one nice shirt
my only one that's new
i like you so much
and want you to see
how great this new shirt
looks when it's on me
bowww wowww wowww
mom got it for me as a birthday gift
i don’t have anything like it
because i only shop thrift
all my other shirts
may stink or have stains
but ill bring out this new
and up my game
my new shirt
looks so good
but its dry clean only
so i cant wear it no more
i had one nice shirt
that’s special and new
one nice shirt
i wore it just for yew
one nice shirt
i hope that yew see
that i can look nice
and im not always trashy
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8. |
Dress Like a Wrestler
02:11
|
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|
i know yew like fabric that’s breathable
but i know a look that is unbeatable
yew need a feather boa and some tight pants
a velvet hat and some spandex
some facepaint and a catsuit
or a white wig and some lace up boots
dress like a wrestler
dress like a wrestler
suit and tie can't be comfortable
so start wearing something a little more memorable
some louder colors and a gaudy gold belt
show some bulge, make my heart melt
something w/ more sequins wouldn't hurt
you can strut around w/o a shirt
and if this wrestler style is your aim
we should go ahead and change your name
like...
el gordo loco
the funeral director
dr. demon
the cosmic hammer
pretty boy maxwell
sgt. pepper
steel rod
the tuxedoed bandit
become like a wrestler
become like a wrestler
become like a wrestler
become like a wrestler
|
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9. |
Empire
02:04
|
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|
588-2300, empire
588-2300, empire
next day installation, samples at your home
empire, empire
no interest or monthly payments
empire, empire
kindly staff treat your home like their own
empire, empire
for quality carpet
delivered to your door
call 588-2300
empire, empire
588-2300, empire
588-2300, empire
free michael jordan basketball
empire, empire
free turkey at thanksgiving
empire, empire
halloween deals so good they're scary
empire
for quality carpet
delivered to your door
call 588-2300
empire, empire
588-2300, empire
588-2300, empire
|
||||
Pledge Drive Chicago, Illinois
Famous for friendliness since 2016, Chicago six-piece Pledge Drive offers heart-of-gold melodies, frustrated busybody energy, polyphonic exhibitionism, and an uncompromising queer agenda. Pledge Drive can be your hero, baby.
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